A day has gone by and my mind is still going and going and going. I have told my parents and my sister that we are expecting once again. They are very excited, surprised (I am really not sure why) but excited. Mom is already talking about quilts she is going to make. I of course told her she has to wait. I wish I didn't have this doubt but history is always on my mind. She believes it will all be ok since I now have sparky and my heart is actually beating and pumping like it is supposed to.
I am anxious to contact my doctor and tell him whats going on so he can reassure me that he will watch me carefully and for a doctor to tell me that it is going to be ok. I am thankful for this pregnancy I have a doctor who cares!!
Work has been incredibly stressful and difficult and I am worried that being pregnant is going to make it ten times worse. My boss who I would usually say is amazing has been very demanding and not very helpful. I feel like I am stuck in a hole I don't know how to get out of and pregnancy will make it harder. I just hope that she understands and lightens up a bit. I often come home exhausted and emotional and tears seem to always be streaming down my face on the drive home. I love my job but it is a hard job and right now things are harder than it has ever been. I just hope this pregnancy is a sign that things will start to look up and things will be ok.
This pregnancy is a blessing no matter how it ends. I have the chance to work harder and get things done at work to prepare, finally get more financially stable (baby= big incentive), get closer to my family, friends, and especially my husband. I dont know what is ahead of me or how this will end so I am just going to enjoy it for today and hope that third time really is a charm!
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