Sunday, March 21, 2010
not a good feeling
Ever since I got the positive pregnancy test I have had a gut feeling that something just isn't right. I just don't feel good about this pregnancy. I dont know if this is natural when you have a history of miscarriages or if my gut is telling me that something just isn't right. I have a few symptoms (sore breasts, cramping, and headaches) but not like the other 2 times. I remember clearly that I felt pregnant, especially the last pregnancy, and I dont feel pregnant at all. I want to be excited and expect the best but I really feel numb with a gut feeling that when I go to the dr. I will get the same response that I have had the last 2 years...."I'm sorry Kortney but the baby didn't make it". Maybe I am just preparing for it because part of me doesn't believe it will happen for us. I really hate this feeling and I really hate that I am having a hard time being happy. This is what I have dreamed of and wanted so bad and now I can't even find happiness. What the hell is wrong with me.
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I found this great saying I love, and think about often.. I get a motivational email everyday from www.tut.com and every day the bottom of the email says... Thoughts become things, chose good ones.
ReplyDeleteOh Hunny, this is totally normal.... I had basically NO symptoms with Cameron after being REALLY sick and uncomfortable with the lost 2. I liked to think it was my reward for going through hell, that I got an easy, glowing pregnancy with my sticky one. And don't worry if you're not feeling like shouting it from the rooftops either, there's nothing like a couple of kicks in the guts to curb the ole enthusiasum is there? of COURSE you're happy, of COURSE you're excited, but worry is the most obvious emotion just now, and that's totally understandable!
ReplyDeleteHang in there babe, it's the longest 12 weeks of your life huh? I wish you all the love and good luck in the world :)