grandparents

Infertility and the loss of babies is heart wrenching for the couple but for the family it is also very difficult. My parents and my sister have always been so supportive through the last 2.5 years but I can see the hurt and dispair in their eyes and hear it in their voice. I went home to see my family and I was so glad to see them. We went out to eat and an old acquintance stopped by our table and pulled out pictures of their grandchildren and just gushed about how great it is to be a grandparent. My parents of course smiled and asked questions but it left me hurt. I couldn't stop thinking about how much my parents want to be grandparents. They would like to be the couple gushing about their grandbabies. We went to wal-mart to pick something up and when we were in the checkout line and another family friend came up behind us. In her cart was a pattern for a baby quilt with lots of cute baby fabric. My mom is a quilter and has purchased many quilt patterns for babies but yet they sit in her sewing room....not moved...because her daughter can't keep her babies alive for 9 months. My sister is also a quilter and she has also bought patterns for baby quilts. I am guessing she will have to make those quilts for friends or for her own babies because who knows when I will be able to wrap a baby in it. My sister has often said that she will not have a baby till I do because she wants me to experience it first. She wants my baby to be the first grand baby but the truth is.....it is so nice for her to say that but she is older than me and she should really just go ahead and live her life. This blog is really a downer but I can't help but be down when everyone around me is having babies and I am left in the dust and I can't do anything about it. Maybe this will be our month and maybe our next pregnancy will be the one that "sticks" Lets just hope at least....